I remember a number of years ago my older brother said:, “if I have to much on my plate I get overloaded and end up not getting anything done”. I really don’t remember anymore what made him make the statement. I do remember I was in my early teens and really didn’t understand the correlation. Actually it took me a very long time to understand his statement and I just realized in the past 3 years what a paralyzing effect it can have on someone.if they overload themselves, struggling with depression and have lost the structure and order in their life.
However, having a full schedule can be healthy and invigorating for someone who is struggling with depression if the schedule has the needed structure and order.
Until my father passed away, I really didn’t understand depression nor did I feel depressed at any time. Maybe it was also that during college and then later during the early years in my career I was so busy I didn’t have any time to think about much of anything. Or better said, didn’t take the time.
After my father passed away and I had lost my job I have had for almost10 years, ever since I finished college. I couldn’t motivate myself to do much of anything. I was seriously depressed. All I did was sit around worrying about how I was going to pay my bills, what was going to happen with my career, where will I be 10 or 20 years down the road. The more I tried to motivate myself to do things, such as working out, cleaning house the more depressed I gotten because I just kept adding things to my to- do list.
The thought was, now that I”m unemployed I have the time to do XYZ. I made my bucket list and my wish list. Things that had been in the back of my mind for years that I wanted to do or have or experience were brought front and center.
Now I had time to do them but I didn’t have the money. So, all I did was sit in front of my PC applying for jobs. There were days I emailed out over 50 resumes. I applied for every job there was out there and nobody called me back. I was just tumbling down the rabbit hole faster and faster.
Finally after starting behavioral therapy I ended up getting a better understand about depression as a whole and the therapy helped me to bring structure and order back into my life. Getting back into the routine of getting up early, getting a little workout in and routinely going through the things you had listed on you to-do list for the day give you the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day.