How do you deal with your Lunar Days?

So, how do you deal with your lunar days?  We all get them. With “we”, I mean the ones who are blessed with the female gender.

Our beloved lunar days, they come once every four weeks.  For some of us they come with the physical clues.  We wake up and feel somewhat not as usual, we go to the bathroom and then there is the ahhhh it’s that time again.  The physical clues bring the realization and the “home free card”. We walk through life (at least some of my friends do) saying “I’m PMSing what is your problem.  In today’s world, PMS give us girls the license to do anything and everything. We turn into the raging lunatics and believe we have every right to do so. In the old days women probably weren’t as compelled to draw attention to it out of fear for being burned at the stake.

For others lunar days come without physical evidence.  Either due to stress, being underweight or due to some lovely implant.  For me, I rarely get them but when I do, they come with vengeance. The problem is when there is no physical evidence you realize you are a total lunatic and it takes time to figure out why.

I have been a raging lunatic all weekend.  This time it took me a total of two days to figure out what the bloody hell was wrong with me and by that time I did, I was totally of the rockers.  In a span of 15 minutes I went through every human emotion possible.  That is from flaming mad with lighting blots shooting out of my eyeballs to the sobbing petty me.

I made through Saturday and Sunday without doing anything majorly stupid.  Well, I resigned to buying cigarettes and smoked like there was no tomorrow.  I made the mistake of not locking my cell phone away but other than that I did OK.  I kept myself busy with studying, doing endless mind numbing tests and added three more painting to my collection.

However, this morning I couldn’t get up.  I had no reason to get up.  I didn’t have anything on my schedule to sustain my life so to speak.  I didn’t have a job to go to.  True I have a number of projects but with these projects may become fruitful in months or years so why bother. We want instant return.  Going back to the emerging neurosciences post, this morning the status was missing to get me out of bed and be functional.  Will power isn’t there if you have the monster lurking underneath.

My cell phone was ringing non-stop and finally at around noon I picked up one of the calls.  The person at the other end said “Hi how are you” and at that moment I lost it.  All the emotions, everything I tried to keep in check during the weekend became unraveled and I let go “How I am? You want to know how I am.  I’m telling you one thing, this whole thing about Garden of Even. This whole thing about women being punished with child labor pains is a bunch of BS.  If G-d is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent then he would have known that we are going to come up with painkillers and epidural anesthetic. Hence this concludes that if there is a G-d and that G-d is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent he/she/it gave women PMS as the punishment”.

The person on the other end answer “well I actually was just calling to wish you Happy Hanukkah and wanted to know if I could borrow the CD we talked about, however it appears you are no having a good day. What to talk about it”

No, not really there was nothing to talk about it.  I was just a raging lunatic.  I ended up getting up and kept myself busy still the monster was trying to push through.

Depression is an interesting thing.  Today I realized for the first time how closely related depression and anger really is. I’m also starting to believe that PMS isn’t really that big of a problem unless you have other issues going on.  During your lunar days you are more prone to lose control.  I’m not really sure why. Looking at it biologically our body is gearing up to its most fertile days.  So is it possible that men are more attracted to raging lunatics?

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Quantifying Happiness

About 2 month ago a friend of mine posted a day trip to the Penn Plantation.  First, I was excited and thought it was a great idea.  However, all through last week I was wrestling with myself if I should really go.  It would be a rather long drive.  I’ve been tired all week.  Not because I was working a lot, far from it but because for some reason I can’t get it in my schedule to drink enough water.  I kept looking at my to-do-list trying to make excuses for not going; however since I had agreed to go, I gotten up at the crack of dawn and placed my tired self in my car.

It was a beautiful morning I enjoyed the drive and Penn Plantation.

Even though it was a grueling drive back, back home I looked at my to-do-list and started to check a few things of.  Now at the end of the day, I ended up having accomplished more then I initially set out to do without going on this day trip.

Habits and attitudes are hardwired along well-established neural pathways. At times we need to give ourselves a push to actually get what we want.  I think that also applies to happiness.  I haven’t really figured it out but I don’t think happiness, even though it’s humanity’s most desired emotion, just doesn’t happen by itself.

While cutting-edge science and research are paving the way to greater understanding of our emotions, it seems there is still something to be said for just having a good day, because you got up and did what you set out to do and some.

Happiness??

In January of this year I went to a lecture on Positive Psychology.  I wasn’t sure what to think of it mainly because the lecture was around Dr. Seligman’s research and what he called authentic happiness.

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/seligman.aspx

I wanted to give the lecture the BS card mainly because of the label “Authentic Happiness”  really – what is authentic happiness???

Now I’m sitting here asking myself, how can you quantify happiness? What makes it authentic?

I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine, telling her about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, saying “I was happy”.  She replied “that isn’t happy”.  Maybe I should have asked her what happiness is, since she appeared to have the answer.

Happiness, the most desired human emotion and in itself the most obscure, indescribable downright mysterious emotion of all.  It is something we all want, but can’t describe.  It is something we all seek but often we are unaware of its present.  Is it possible we are so eager to find it we totally ignore its presents?  Is it possible that happiness is the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife which we have learned to take for granted?

Emerging Neuroscience and the SCARF model

Emerging Neuroscience and the SCARF model

David Rock, the author of the book Your Brain At Work, outlines five particular qualities all humans crave.  These qualities are Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness.  These qualities appear to be rather important to the human brain and form the underlying structure of what he calls the SCARF model.

His SCARF model goes along the lines with my beliefs of Structure/Order and Chaos.  David Rock states that the absence of one of these five qualities has a tendency to drive people crazy or as I would call it, drops them into a state of chaos.

Status

We tend to compare ourselves to others. Employment / Unemployment have a huge effect on our perception of self-worth. Lack of status, lack of self-worth drops us into a state of chaos, which can also be called into a state of depression.

Certainty

We call crave a certain sense of order, predictability and most of all we thrive on sureness, although here I do have slight reservations.  Is a world of total predictability not an utter wasteland? Do we not need a certain unpredictability to remain interested?  Should we not say with one foot in chaos and therefore be forced to stretch our mind or at least to remain appreciative and not take things for granted.

 

Autonomy

Autonomy is nothing more than control, control of our destiny. Then again, total control even when it comes to our destiny and our goals there needs to be a certain flexibility to avoid madness.

Relatedness

Relatedness means being connected, being part of a social community.  People with strong social connections have a greater contentment with life the people who don’t nourish these connections.

Fairness
We all feel certain hostility if we feel we were treated unfairly, the level of hostility if not affected by the validity of the feeling.  If a person feels being treated unfairly for long periods of time they can become bitter and cruel.

What is Emerging Neuroscience really telling us?

What is Emerging Neuroscience really telling us

To clarify my previous post, Emerging Neuroscience research is telling us about influence.

Habits and attitudes are hardwired along well-established neural pathways.  – Change is Pain – Telling doesn’t work. However, our brain is designed for constant change.  New habits and attitudes can be established by laying new circuits alongside the old.  Conversations literally changes the brain and supports the creation of new neural pathways.

Deciphering Emerging Neuroscience as it relates to Depression

Recently I went to a lecture on Emerging Neuroscience.  The lecture started with the quote from Aristotle; “The fool tells me his reasons. The wise man persuades me with my own”.

If you consider the underlying beliefs of mantras it starts to form some clarity.  Mantras are used in a variety of forms depending on the school of philosophy it is associated with.  Mantras are considered capable of creating a transformation.

The transformation associated with the mantras isn’t due to higher power within the sound, syllable, word, or group of words that make up the mantra it is due to our belief within.

We tend to believe and remember that which we hear ourselves say far more than what is told to us.

Let me give you an example which has happened to me earlier this summer.

A friend called and said “I’m so depressed!” Naturally I asked “Why”.  She started telling me how she had mailed out 10 resumes and nobody had called her back.  I engaged in the conversation on how depressing the current economic stage is, how difficult it is to even get an interview and when you finally get one it can turn into total torture and you end up leaving the interview totally deflated.  Then out of nowhere my friend turned the conversation around, telling me how much money she is making on her current job, how much money her husband is making and that they are leaving on a two week vacation in a few weeks.  At the end of the call, my friend no longer appeared depressed however I was, since I was financially in a different situation and the call was drawing attention my situation.  At that time I haven’t learned the valuable lesson from my friend Jane which I wrote about back in October.

A few days later this particular friend called again and said “I’m so depressed”. Again I asked “Why” and she said “well remember I mailed out 10 resumes and nobody is calling me back”.  This time, still feeling the effects from the last call in every bone of my body I engaged in the conversation differently. I said; “You mailed out 10 resumes over a week ago and you are still harping on the fact that nobody is calling you back, I have responded to hundreds of Job Ads in the last few weeks so far nobody has called me back either however I’m determined to get another job and I will.  You have one, so you really don’t have to put the same amount of energy into your job search nonetheless you will get out of it what you put in.”

Needless to state the call ended shortly after that; however, I was left with a feeling of empower, with a sense of control and confidence about my employment situation.