My friend who gotten me started with the idea of this blog emailed me this morning in response to this blog. For the purpose of this blog we will call him Doctor Genius.
Doctor Genius wrote:
You are on the right track, writing your blog will help you better understand what you are going thru and why you are depressed. That in turn will help you recover from depression and accept all that life hands to you, both good and bad. I believe your main problem is that you are a driven person, driven to succeed, driven to prosper. I believe that is at the root of your depression, and the second issue is the current economy affecting your employment and income. A driven person in that environment is like a wild tiger in a cage. That tiger will keep pacing the cage looking for a way out. I suspect you are pacing, and seeing no current way out; you are frustrated, leading to being depressed.
Although, I thought of myself more like the gerbil running endlessly in its wheel, his metaphor of the tiger pacing the cage is interesting. It shows the difference in the male / female perceptions of the world it also points to the self-image. There is validity, the pacing, the frustration, the lack of control, lack of purpose. Sending our resumes after resumes and not getting any responses does something to the self-image and self-worth.
My father turned to me one day and said “you have no idea how hard it is to love what I have become”. He suffered from extreme depression in his later years. His mother, my grandmother, in today’s world would have been diagnosed with clinical depression by the time she was 40. Until my father gotten married and started to interact with his mother-in-law he perceived his mother’s behavior as normal. As he gotten older and depression took hold of him, he was better equipped in coping with it due to the experience he had, growing up with a mother suffering of depression and later meeting a woman, his mother-in-law, who embraced life with open arms never being discouraged no matter how crappy the deck of cards was that life handed her and she had gotten some crappy cards.
A healthy self-image, a realistic sense of perception and a large array of experience will help a great deal when it comes to depression.
This in itself can be a challenging task even for people who are employed.
Looking at history, Anne Boleyn lost her head because she didn’t give birth to a son. This is a worry we don’t have in today’s world. We forget how truly fortunate we are. As Doctor Genius pointed out, the current economy affecting employment and income is depressing. The walls that have supported us have been knocked out underneath us. Our brain goes into emergency mode. We are ready to do anything and everything at the drop of a hat since we no longer know what to do. The orderly structure has disappeared and all we see is disarray. Still we want to keep in mind, what unemployment means to the people in the western world, it’s the depletion of our saving and retirement accounts. In other countries and for our great grandparents maybe even our grandparents unemployment meant malnutrition for some even death.
We have become extremely materialistic but there is nothing material about being, being is an emotional stage, or not?