A few months ago I had one of these blue days. I emailed a friend stating how these clouds of depression gathering up around me, like the silence before the storm, how I could feel them tugging and pulling, dragging me down into the pit of utter darkness.
The following morning, I received his lengthy response, in the midst of the email was the statement “don’t get swallowed up within the black hole you are the only sane person I have to talk to”.
This response gave birth to the idea of starting this blog.
At first I thought it would be beneficial for me and others dealing with depression to read about the many little highlights and pleasures life offers. I contemplated for weeks what to write, how to write and most of all, is what I have to say even worth the bandwidth. Over the years, I have met a number of people struggling with depression, all were searching for answers. I don’t have answers. All I have is questions. Then again, isn’t the question more interesting than the answer?
Today my counselor and she asked about this blog. I was planning to go to the movies after the appointment however couldn’t meet up with the people I was supposed to meet. As they say, everything happens for a reason and I was pondering over why? As is I was sitting in bumper to bumper traffic, once again, I thought about this blog. Then I remembered this really strange day about two weeks ago. I woke up felling very content. I wanted to write about it, reflecting and analyzing what I had done to get to this stage but now I don’t remember. Odd, I do remember that drinking a bottle of wine and smoking a pack of cigarettes one night made me wake up the next day feeling sick and depressed but now I don’t remember what I did to make me fell happy and content.
I guess I better start writing it down.